being mindful of personal boundaries – how to set and re-set them.

This week in my yoga classes, I have been talking about setting boundaries.

Often what we teach, is what we most need to learn.

This is definitely something that I find exceptionally challenging in my life.

Boundaries.  

What even are they?

The Oxford Dictionary describes a boundary as ‘a line which marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.’

They can be very clearly seen in sports, with clear lines around a tennis court, football pitch, and yes even your yoga mat.

But when it comes to the more complex ‘game of life’, things can be a little more challenging.

 

Where do we draw the line?

 

Life for many of us is full. Our careers, friends, family, appointments, chores (the list goes on…) can pull us in many directions; away from our purpose, what we really need and desperately want in that moment.

Another reality is that we may have set boundaries with others, that we realise down the line are no longer serving us – with drastic change needed to re-set those lines.

 

Setting and re-setting boundaries asks for us to practise a LOT of courage and self-love.

It requires immense vulnerability, speaking our truth about what we want & need, at the risk of disappointing others.

 

And that is OK.

 

I think we all need more space, especially to support our mental well-being.

 

Setting Boundaries

A polite…

‘I can’t take that on right now’

‘My priority right now is…’

‘I really need space/a night in/some alone time/a weekend away’

‘It’s really important to me that….’

…can be all that is needed to clearly define the lines

 

Re-setting Boundaries 

For those times when the lines have been crossed (by another) and need to be reset.

1.     Acknowledge the need for change

Acknowledge where you are at in that particular situation. Be compassionate, with the realisation that this situation has been co-created. And it can be changed.

 

2.     Make it about how YOU feel

Pointing fingers and blaming another for the situation is not fair. Take full ownership of the situation and be totally honest about what you need.

 

3.     Be kind to yourself in the process of change

Although it’s something that perhaps we really want and need, it can put a lot of discomfort in our bodies when we move out of our ‘home’ (i.e. the boundary we have been living in) and stepping into something new. Be kind as the court is re-set.

 

We are all in complete control of our own live and destinies.

Being mindful of our own energy and setting personal boundaries will allow more space, more energy, thriving relationships and we can move through live more loving in every moment.